Happy Eleven Months Eli!

I do not know why it took me basically FOREVER to post about this, but my baby is eleven months old now. I’m literally like almost a month late because in one week and like three days he will be turning one. I guess the reason why I have been putting this off is because I have been really emotional. It started during my spring break. I spent the whole week with him and I started really thinking about the very first day Fitz and I brought him home and how everything was hard at first and how we were definitely challenged by parenthood. Now we laugh at those times and giggled about how clueless we were. At the same time it makes me very sad because we cannot get those moments back with Eli. Time flew by SO fast. He is going to be one. I’m practically going to have a toddler in a week or so. He is no longer a baby.
I know I should be happy about it. We survived A YEAR as parents to a beautiful boy, but now I feel nothing but sadness. Happy, but sad..? It’s a bittersweet moment really. Ugh I’ll save the extra sappy post for when he’s one.

Moving along… I am so proud to say that we have reached the biggest milestone of all and that is W A L K I N G! Technically he started walking at ten months, a week or so before he turned eleven. Ugh I have such a smart boy in my hands. He is definitely babbling/talking a lot more. He has learned how to give hugs and he somewhat knows how to kiss like for real, not just pursing his lips and making that smacking noise. Also this boy is definitely someone who wants HIS way. He has been testing us. He thinks he’s the boss hahaha, he’s funny. I constantly remind him WE’RE the boss by glaring at him whenever he whines and it works most of the time. He’s also been interested in putting lids back on containers. He also knows how to work a remote. Hmm what else?

OH! They ruled out Dairy for his list of allergies. Now we only have to work with eggs and peanuts although I know that peanuts will probably stay there forever. With peanuts only 20% of kids outgrow them and eggs, almost all kids outgrow them. The good news is that he can actually tolerate baked in eggs, but he can’t eat boiled eggs, sunny side up, scrambled… which sucks because those are literally the easiest breakfast meals to make!

So…. ok I think that’s it for now for his eleven month update. He is literally turning one in like a two weeks or a week ish so you will be seeing a post like this again… with more tears and sappiness.

Unexpected Interview

Hi, hello.
I know it’s been quite a while since I last posted. Maybe a couple of weeks. Tonight is my last night of Spring break, so tomorrow I go back to school. Before Spring break started I told myself I’d do so much school work during spring break. WELP, that did not happen at all. I don’t regret it. Literally the weeks before Spring break killed me. We had an exam every week and careplans due every week and it was just so annoying and crazy and stressed me out. It definitely did make the days go by so fast though.
Anyway, I’ve always had mixed feelings about applying for externships. There is a part of me that really wants to so I can gain more experience and to help me not get so nervous anymore. The other part of me wants to just chill with Eli during the whole summer and do different types of activities. I decided to apply for some anyway and one called me back last week.
This was so unexpected because I really personally believed that my resume/cover letter sucked. They called me on a Thursday asking me to come in for an interview Monday, which is the monday that just passed.
The interview went okay. I just hate this feeling that I have. I feel like I did horrible and made a fool out of myself. Also I don’t know what I want. A part of me really wants to get this position and another part of me is scared and… very unsure and wouldn’t care less if I didn’t. I was just very focused on spending the whole summer with Eli, at the same time gaining experience and money wouldn’t hurt.
I am definitely praying about it though. I know I should stay confident, but there is a part of me that feels like I am not going to get it.

Happy Ten Months Eli!

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset Happy Ten Months to my little ray of sunshine. I seriously cannot believe that in about two months I will have a one year old! It’s crazy to think about it. These ten months with Eli flew by so fast. I don’t know if its because of school keeping me busy or if it’s really just him growing up so fast, but man…. time flew. When Eli was first born and we introduced him to everyone and when everyone met him for the first time, ALL the moms I knew kept telling us “enjoy this moment because it will go by fast” and I always brushed it off, not that I didn’t listen to them, but it was more of like “Okay, I already knew that”, not in a mean way though. BUT, IT IS SO SO TRUE. The first year of having a baby in my opinion, is the sweetest part. The first year is coming to an end, and I really am not ready to let it go.

Okay, I’m gonna stop being sappy and move onto Eli’s milestones. HE IS TAKING STEPS!! So our nine month appointment was late and ended up having it a few days after he turned ten months. We didn’t have our normal pediatrician look at him, so it was this other doctor who was a woman. She was nice, but made me worried about Eli’s height for no reason. Our normal pediatrician is this guy named Dr. Dang and he’s Asian and ever since the beginning he’s always told us that Eli was small which was something Fitz and I both expected because well, first we are asians, and second, we are small people. I am only about 5 ft and Fitz is only 5’6 or around there. But the thing is, Dr. Dang never made us worry about Eli’s height because he’s had tons of asian patients who grew slow or were just small in general.

Ugh but when we came into this appointment, the first thing this new doctor tells us is that Eli is really small for his age (which we already knew) and she ran some tests on his which made me so nervous. Days after we got the results of the blood work and everything is normal. I honestly believe Eli will have a spontaneous growth spurt sometime later, but not now. Yes, I am an anxious mama, lol.

Anyway, yes Eli is taking steps! The most he’s taken is 6 I think. He also sleeps through the night now (Thank God) and is drinking less milk and eating more solids. He has a normal meals now in terms of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He claps his hands when you ask hi, points to the light, will raise his arms when you say ‘hooray’, he points at things now. He is also definitely more aware that we are his parents. Sometimes when we drop him off at daycare, he’ll cry lol.

My baby is growing and I really have to cherish all these precious moments with him. 

Pharmacology Tip!

If you know me well, I LITERALLY HATE PHARM. Last semester was my very first semester taking Pharm. While others found it extremely easy and easier than medsurg, it was the opposite for me. Pharm was actually my lowest grade last semester. I don’t know why I had such a hard time with it? I felt like it was just so much to remember and studying for it always made me anxious. I just kept mixing some drugs with others and not just the drugs, but their side effects as well.

During our second Exam, three good friends of mine who saved my butt (Marcel, Lauren, and Lilly if ya’ll are reading this lol), were kind enough to send me charts that they made. My first Pharm exam was my lowest, I think I got like an 84? By the second exam, when I used the charts they sent me, my grade really went up. The charts helped me kind of frame it in my head and helped me organize it in my head as well. Pharm is a lot of memorization and of course, you have to learn how to understand the drugs too. The charts helped me memorize them and gave me time to really understand how they all work together. For my second exam, I don’t even remember what I got, I’m pretty sure it was like a 90 or 94? or Maybe 92 Idk, the point is, the charts really helped me and now this semester, I’m making my own chart.

If you guys wanna see how I make them, a preview is above. I use word document and honestly don’t know where I’d be without it. The word program that comes with MAC sucks. I mean you could always use google docs but you need the internet. At least with word I can literally make charts anywhere because you don’t need internet connection for it.

I started making a chart already for the first exam. So what I do is I make a table and separate them by drug and their acton, side effects, adverse affects, patient teaching, what to do before and after you administer the drug (since that’s how our new book is outlined), and nursing consideration. Also, reading the book while making this chart really helps me remember them! I also insert comments on the side and the ones shown probably won’t make sense to you, but when I look at them, I just get it. I also noticed if you insert comments on the side and you print the document, it gives you a little space to write some stuff too when you’re actually studying.

Obviously you guys don’t have to do this to get an A or better grades. If you’re already doing something that helps you out and that works for you, then that’s great. This is just something that helps me really focus and believe it or not, it makes studying a lot more fun cause it’s so organized and pretty lol.

Oh I forgot to say, they made us get a new book this semester and it is so much easier to comprehend so I have a good feeling about this.




A change of mindset, PLEASE

I really need to change my mindset about what being a good mom is. I was going to post about this before school started, but I got really emotional.

When I found out I was pregnant with Eli around August of 2016, I decided to still attend Fall of 2016, but take off Spring of 2017 since I was due April 15, which was actually two weeks before finals. That would not have been good? Plus, I actually gave birth March 31 and went through Postpartum Depression for a while, so that was not good at all. Going back to school would not have been an option. I was pretty lucky. I had about 6 months with Eli before I had to go back. He was about to turn 6 months when Fall semester of 2017 started.

It was very hard to leave him. Knowing I wouldn’t see him all the time broke my heart, but I really wanted to finish school, get my degree, take the boards, catch my dream, and work hard for my family. I sucked it up.

I was super excited for winter break to come, cause that meant more time with Eli and I did. I spent a whole month with him, He was sick for like a week, but that’s when I got the most cuddles and cuddles are always great.

FOR SOME REASON THOUGH, IT WAS HARDER LEAVING HIM THIS TIME. Way harder than leaving him the first time. I think it was because he was super clingy to me during the entire break and he knew me and smiled every morning he would wake up next to me. He chose me over anyone, even over Fitz. He loved bath time with me and he just loved playing with me and we really bonded over break. This is when I got really emotional.

The night before class started I started telling myself I was a horrible mother. I was a horrible mother because instead of taking care of him, he’s in daycare most of the week while I’m in school. I started thinking that the definition of being a good mother is being with your baby 24/7. I hate when I start thinking like that because then I can’t focus on school.

Until now I still think about it just a little bit. I just want things to be easier. 

Sorry for being inactive

Hey everyone,

So school has started. I apologize for not writing here for a while, lol like two weeks, idk. School started last week (January 8th) and i don’t know why Holy Family likes to make us struggle and make us come in earlier than other schools when we don’t get out earlier either. But anyway, school started and it’s definitely a lot harder than last semester I would say. Last semester, the first two weeks, I was still able to surf the web, watch some netflix, spend time with Eli without having to worry about being behind, BUT MAN THIS SEMESTER, EVEN THE FIRST FREAKING DAY I ALREADY FELT LIKE I WAS MONTHS BEHIND AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE? Not to mention, we have like 30 something people in our class and they all freaking intimidate me because they all seem so smart and knowledgeable like they read the book every night, which is probably something I should do. They mostly participate and I’m just sitting there listening to what they’re saying out loud or shouting out loud and I have no clue, whatsoever, what they’re saying. Like did we learn this before? I don’t know. Honestly, just the first two weeks of school made me feel super stupid. I used to come to class semi prepared with knowledge about what the lecture is going to be about, but now my mind is like blank and all I’m thinking in my head is “Okay Trish, this is the semester that you’re going to fail” but I cannot think like that. I want to keep my record of not getting anything below an 80 my whole entire nursing school career, and while that may seem impossible, it’s actually pretty doable with a lot of work and determination. I mean I did it last sem, I should be able to do it again, but then again, this semester is harder.

Also did I mention that we have two clinical days now and I am kind of freaking out because I’ve never really had experience in the hospital, except for that time I was in the nursing program in my community college but had to drop out because I was severely depressed and couldn’t handle anything. Yeah, I had clinicals while I was in that program and I remember crying all the time, so I don’t know how I am going to handle this semester… with TWO DAYS. Thankfully my friends are in my clinical group and other people that seem so sweet, on the plus side my clinical instructor seems nice, ON EMAILS, but hopefully she’s nice in real life too, lol.

Well, wish me luck this semester. We’re learning about the heart now so that’s great. I hate the heart.

Eli at Nine Months

0ADBEF6C-2D86-4817-B714-3A69473AB995Eli is nine months! He turned nine months on New Years Eve and was sick as ever, but still smiling, just a little bit cranky. I can’t believe he will be the BIG ONE in three months. I know a lot of people say this but I literally feel like it was just yesterday when he came home for the first time. A lot of older people who have older kids tell me to ‘enjoy these moments’ with him because these are the moments that will go by so fast… and I’m trying. I really am. Everyday I see him I just want to cuddle with him and squeeze him in my arms, agh. I don’t even want to go back to school. These past three weeks with him have been so tiring, but amazing. Can’t wait for the summer!

Updates: Eli is TRYING to walk. Since six or seven months he has been using tables or chairs or anything he can find to pull himself up. NOW he can do it on his own. He just sticks his but up, puts both of his palms on the floor and push himself up. Oh! He can also stand on his own for like ten seconds. While pulling himself up, he can also transfer from one ledge to another. He understands the word “no” and will point up if you ask him ‘where is the light’. He will also clap his hands if you ask him and sometimes will give you a high five.

I am trying to feed him more filipino food so he’ll get used to it but ugh he is so picky! He has two teeth and one front tooth coming out!

That’s basically all the update I have on Eli for now. For sure if there is another update, I will post!