Wow. It’s been almost a year since the last time I wrote on this blog. That is insane. First off, I really am sorry for just leaving the blog behind. As you can see, although nursing school kicked my butt, I kicked it right back and graduated.
I am finally done.
All that hard work
Just like that
I am finished.
It’s crazy because I sit here and look back and I can still remember exactly how I felt going into my first nursing class, 8 weeks pregnant, not knowing what to do. I can still feel the pain of having to take a semester off because I was due at a time where it was impossible for me to just give birth and go right back four days later. I can still feel the tears and the sadness when I had to go back when Eli was about six months.
I was not emotionally ready.
Mentally, I was unstable.
But I had to do it, and I did it. I graduated and I did that.
Okay, yeah I didn’t graduate with honors (though I was literally so close, darn you 3.48 lol) and that is okay.
Words cannot even express how proud I am of myself. I’m not one to brag, but man this was such a big accomplishment. The journey felt so long and just like that it’s done. I remember being so annoyed because my first rotation was in a nursing home and it was so far from us, so once a week, Fitz and I would have to wake up around 4:30 in the morning, try not to wake Eli up as we transferred him from the bed to the car seat, and leave the house by 5:30 so I could make in time for Clinical by 6:30 and Fitz would make it to work by 8.
I remember having to lock the doors so I wouldn’t be tempted to go down to play with Eli because I had some major studying to do. I remember feeling anxious every first day of clinical, crying because I didn’t have time to study, panicking because I forgot to study one part of the blueprint, and going crazy because my brain would continuously tell me I’m not good enough.
But I did it.
I did the one thing I thought I wouldn’t be able to do the second Eli was born. I thought, “I’m not good enough to do this. I’m not smart enough. I am not capable”. But the thing is, one thing I learned during this journey is the importance of knowing that anything is possible. I don’t want to sound cliche, but it is true. When you put your mind into something and really prioritize and claim that you will get it done, it’ll happen. It’ll take time, but it’ll happen. Another thing I need to point out is that I would not be able to accomplish what I accomplished without the help and support from everyone that stood by me throughout this journey. It is okay to rely on and ask people for help. Until now, I still have a hard time doing because that’s just how I am, but this would not be possible without everyone that supported me and motivated me.
With that being said,
This is all for nothing if I do not pass the NCLEX, lol, jk, but partially true so please pray for me that I do.