Unexpected Interview

Hi, hello.
I know it’s been quite a while since I last posted. Maybe a couple of weeks. Tonight is my last night of Spring break, so tomorrow I go back to school. Before Spring break started I told myself I’d do so much school work during spring break. WELP, that did not happen at all. I don’t regret it. Literally the weeks before Spring break killed me. We had an exam every week and careplans due every week and it was just so annoying and crazy and stressed me out. It definitely did make the days go by so fast though.
Anyway, I’ve always had mixed feelings about applying for externships. There is a part of me that really wants to so I can gain more experience and to help me not get so nervous anymore. The other part of me wants to just chill with Eli during the whole summer and do different types of activities. I decided to apply for some anyway and one called me back last week.
This was so unexpected because I really personally believed that my resume/cover letter sucked. They called me on a Thursday asking me to come in for an interview Monday, which is the monday that just passed.
The interview went okay. I just hate this feeling that I have. I feel like I did horrible and made a fool out of myself. Also I don’t know what I want. A part of me really wants to get this position and another part of me is scared and… very unsure and wouldn’t care less if I didn’t. I was just very focused on spending the whole summer with Eli, at the same time gaining experience and money wouldn’t hurt.
I am definitely praying about it though. I know I should stay confident, but there is a part of me that feels like I am not going to get it.

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