So school has started. I apologize for not writing here for a while, lol like two weeks, idk. School started last week (January 8th) and i don’t know why Holy Family likes to make us struggle and make us come in earlier than other schools when we don’t get out earlier either. But anyway, school started and it’s definitely a lot harder than last semester I would say. Last semester, the first two weeks, I was still able to surf the web, watch some netflix, spend time with Eli without having to worry about being behind, BUT MAN THIS SEMESTER, EVEN THE FIRST FREAKING DAY I ALREADY FELT LIKE I WAS MONTHS BEHIND AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE? Not to mention, we have like 30 something people in our class and they all freaking intimidate me because they all seem so smart and knowledgeable like they read the book every night, which is probably something I should do. They mostly participate and I’m just sitting there listening to what they’re saying out loud or shouting out loud and I have no clue, whatsoever, what they’re saying. Like did we learn this before? I don’t know. Honestly, just the first two weeks of school made me feel super stupid. I used to come to class semi prepared with knowledge about what the lecture is going to be about, but now my mind is like blank and all I’m thinking in my head is “Okay Trish, this is the semester that you’re going to fail” but I cannot think like that. I want to keep my record of not getting anything below an 80 my whole entire nursing school career, and while that may seem impossible, it’s actually pretty doable with a lot of work and determination. I mean I did it last sem, I should be able to do it again, but then again, this semester is harder.
Also did I mention that we have two clinical days now and I am kind of freaking out because I’ve never really had experience in the hospital, except for that time I was in the nursing program in my community college but had to drop out because I was severely depressed and couldn’t handle anything. Yeah, I had clinicals while I was in that program and I remember crying all the time, so I don’t know how I am going to handle this semester… with TWO DAYS. Thankfully my friends are in my clinical group and other people that seem so sweet, on the plus side my clinical instructor seems nice, ON EMAILS, but hopefully she’s nice in real life too, lol.
Well, wish me luck this semester. We’re learning about the heart now so that’s great. I hate the heart.